The quality of our relationship connections can generally be categorized into five main pillars that form the foundation of a healthy relationship. I have taken these pillars and refined them into the primary components of my (I)C.A.R.E. model. 

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(I)nvestment

Routinely check-in with each other and invest in the general health of the relationship. Celebrate the positive things that are happening then explore where there is opportunity to further strengthen the relationship. Identify counseling goals and objectives and relevant characteristics of a healthy relationship.

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(C)onnection

 ARE you there for me when I need you and in the way I need you to be?​  Consistently connect with each other on an emotional and physical level. Identify where there are current roadblocks to connecting and then implement new tools and techniques to dramatically improve communication. Utilize Active Listening skills to build stronger levels of Emotional Awareness and connection. Resolve current relationship challenges related to what you experienced as a child growing up in your Family of Origin. Create and support a “Safe Harbor” where you can be open and honest with your partner without fear of conflict, feeling judged, dismissed or not important. Address conflict avoidance behaviors with new conflict resolution skills. 

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(A)ffirmation

Consistently recognize and affirm that the relationship is important  by acknowledging and validating each other’s past life experiences, beliefs, values and perspectives. Consistently demonstrate appreciation for everything your partner does for you and for others.

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(R)espect

Demonstrate respect for your relationship and for each other's individuality, boundaries, opinions, and beliefs. Address disrespectful behaviors and trust issues. Reconcile both physical and emotional infidelity. Create healthy boundaries. 

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(E)mpathy

Put yourself in the other person’s shoes before acting so you can respond appropriately to the situation. Acknowledge and validate their perspective while showing gratitude for their support and vulnerability.

 

This step of introducing you to the basic elements of the I.C.A.R.E. model should give you some sense of what love and the concepts of positive dependency and emotional connection are all about. 

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