The quality of our connections with others can generally be categorized into five main pillars that form the foundation of a healthy relationship. I have taken these pillars and refined them into the primary components of my I.C.A.R.E. model. 

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(I)nvestment

Routinely check-in with each other and invest in the general health of the relationship. Explore where there are opportunities to further strengthen the relationship and identify counseling goals and objectives.

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(C)onnection

ARE you there for me when I need you and in the way I need you to be?​  Identify where there are current roadblocks to connecting and then implement new tools and techniques to dramatically improve communication. Utilize Active Listening while confirming mutual understanding. Resolve repeating cycles of conflict by creating a "Safe Harbor" to be open and honest without fear of feeling judged, dismissed or neglected.  

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(A)ffirmation

Consistently recognize and affirm with each other that the relationship is important. Routinely demonstrate appreciation for everything your partner does for you and for others.

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(R)espect

Demonstrate respect for your relationship and for each other's individuality, boundaries, opinions, and beliefs. Address disrespectful behaviors and trust issues. Reconcile both physical and emotional infidelity. Create healthy boundaries. 

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(E)mpathy

Put yourself in the other person’s shoes before acting, so you can respond appropriately to the situation. Acknowledge and validate their perspectives while showing gratitude for their support and vulnerability.

 

This step of introducing you to the high-level, basic elements of the I.C.A.R.E. model should give you some sense of what love and the concepts of positive dependency and emotional connection are all about. Of course, we will go into much more detail when we are actually using this model during our sessions together. 

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Chris

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